I’ve been back and forth writing about this one but after receiving a ton of messages from a previous blog, I decided to release this after all. An intelligent experienced sub will know what the title of this post means. Maybe you decided to read this because you find the title actually confusing and counteractive to this scene. (It truly isn’t.)
I’m going to give examples of scenarios that I want you to think about and I will elaborate on each after.
#1 (Slave Finds master on twitter)
Sub: Hey wow great pics do you do ever cam
Dom: You got venmo or circle? How much cash you got?
Sub: You’re beautiful sir. Oh um I got paid like last Friday why?
Dom: Send me a tribute faggot or im blocking you for wasting my time.
Sub: What type of shoes do you have sir? How old are you?
Dom: Send me $X or Im not responding.
So the slave gets blocked/ignored. This slave may have wanted to be dominated in just anyway and willing to try anything. Maybe he already is a cash sub. That dom was so absorbed in “profit” that he didnt take the time to to find out. A genuine dom will talk to you and answer basic fucking questions. Why waste money on someone if they dont click with you or are not into the same things? That’s like flushing money down the toilet and not in a sexy way.
Here is a general convo I had with a sub recently.
Sub: Its so cool to be talking to you
Me: I appreciate that. What made you decide to reach out to me.
Sub: I like your attitude on things. Plus You’re hot as hell
Me: Thanks 🙂 So what are you into
Sub:Verbal abuse, feet, being treated like a spit bucket, ash tray, atm, toilet, so many things:
The conversation can go on as long as it needs to. Im patient. I get to know them.
Me: Thats cool you have a kinky mind. Im wild myself
Sub: Am I taking up your time sir? I dont have any money and I cant pay you right now/pay alot
Me: Why do you have to pay me?
Sub: I have to pay to talk to you don’t I?
Me: Why would you have to pay to talk to me. I’m not financially dominating you at the moment. I’m getting to know where your head is at.
Sub: oh everybody always makes me have to pay to talk
Me: Am I everybody else?
Sub: No sir
Slave has served particular master multiple times, but tonight he is relaxing eating delivery pizza and playing world of war craft online with skype on.
Master:Faggot what are you doing!
Slave:Playing world of warcraft sir.
Master: I NEED Gas in my car and Taking out my girl on a date (I Feel sorry for her lol)
(Slave is not in a sexual mood and feels irritated/taken advantage of.)
Slave: I Dont have the money sir (Not knowing how to respond even if he does have it.)
Master:You lying miserable faggot sniff your poppers. I dont give a fuck if youre broke!
Slave:I dont get paid till next Wednesday and I need to get groceries (as an excuse even if he does have food.)
Master:You can eat noodles faggot
Slave: *sigh* “Ok master.. Youre right sir its better in your pocket then mine”
Slave may act like hes ok, but deep down can he may be thinking “Thank god I just wanted him to leave me the fuck alone!” Someone with low self-esteem or social problems may send it because they don’t want to lose the connection to their addiction. These aren’t BDSM Doms… they’re something else. You feel there is no other way to say no and you’re scared of being lonely. A compassionate dom who is on the same page would never do that. Someone who hammers at your personal space when youre not submissive is just using someone. Its worse when that sub has emotional problems.
Wanna know how to avoid these masters from bothering you again?
Ever have a ton of people ask you for spare change at the gas station?Just do the same thing…. Close the chat window like you close your car door. Block him as he does NOT have your best interests if he cant read you and act as a human being. Youll send 100 on paypal to chase away the internet-fly but wont toss a few dollars to a potential homeless person in front of you.
As long as slaves keep giving into “peddlers” this problem will continue to exist. As slaves do this these masters will simply think its ok and acceptable. If masters wont fix how the scene used to operate then its up to YOU to not enable!
#3 (Sub Has been getting off with “dom” for 2 months now. He was a general manager and got stepped down to an assistant manager. He realizes he has to change his spending habbits and is depressed. He goes through his savings to keep his master happy until it runs out. He turns to his master as a way of reaching out one night. He sees his master as a new close friend… or so he thinks. His master is used to large tributes and EXPECTS it.
Sub : Hello sir how are you
Dom: sup loser just get home from work? (Dom knows its payday.)
Sub: Ok i guess. I just wanna cam again I need you sir.
(Sub sends 30% of the normal initial tribute, now being on a more fixed income.)
Dom :wtf faggot Im not wasting my time on that shit. (AFTER ITS BEEN SENT)
Sub: sir Ive been demoted at work and I cant afford to send tributes as high.
Dom: Just send me all at you got
Sub: I have bills sir I cant lose my cable… its All i do is watch tv to take my mind off of work.
Dom: You must not truly be a real cash fag. Ima hit up my other slaves later!!
Sub is shocked beyond words, feeling like a knife just got stabbed in his back. Hes realizes hes nothing special like he thought. If a sub wants to go without because its his thing, then thats different. This slave was being serious when he said he needed some leisure or hed lose his mind. The “alpha” doesn’t care! He keeps persisting and then just abandons someone who needs a friend on top of that.
Master goes away seeing the human being as worthless beyond the realm of BDSM.
Financial domination was originally a power exchange with two consenting parties with rules limits and communication. Its morphed into exploiting others out of greed and selfishness.
Saving 4 for last.
#4 Slave recently told me today one time He was on a chat on different findom site and witnessed something. Some slave had fallen asleep on open cam passed out drunk while getting drained. His master took more then talked about it and bragged in open chat.
Stop and think why somebody would do that. A man with a fetish has passed out unintentionally. Someone he figures he can trust takes whatever he wants not caring if the sub is into hard rapes or not. For all that master knows, his rent could be due tomorrow. He just sees the sub as a cash cow. Taking money from a drunk person who is unaware is ROBBERY. NOT BDSM
What is also disturbing, is other subs (the non tributing ones usually…) cheer it on!! Like wtf!! Its also worse when other masters dont step forward and say “hey bro.. thats kinda not cool…”
This shit would NEVER fly in the femdom scene!!!
In conclusion, a true BDSM dom stays in the scene because they enjoy the power transfer and BDSM in general. If hes talking about his financial problems see this as a RED FLAG. If he constantly hits you up like youre his sugar daddy, ANOTHER RED FLAG. Requires a tribute each time to talk, RED FLAG.
With BDSM both parties need to be on the same page, even if they are in different roles. Many subs want a connection and a dom who doesn’t just talk about cash. Many of my long term subs are also my friends. One sub was almost a second father to me. Subs call me sometimes to talk. I take my time and listen because I do care. Masters seem to fail to understand a major essential of BDSM…. aftercare.